I've been thinking more about the "Christian" fundamentalists and the Hedges book (see previous entry). Here's my problem: on the one hand, my understanding of Christianity is that while anger is not necessarily sinful, it is always wrong to hate somebody.
But on the other hand, I really HATE these fundamentalists. I mean, I can't say with any assurance how it will fare with me when my life is judged, but I find myself lusting to see these people driven INSANE with humiliation when God sews their eyelids open and forces them to see the truth of what they are and what they have been doing: all the lies, the persecution of the innocent, the bullying and sneaking methods of preaching a false gospel, the Nazi-like desire for control of other people, the willful destruction of all that is beautiful, the smugness, the spiritual Darwinism, the turning of the church into the whore of the state and the whore of capitalism.
I am probably pissing into the wind because very few people have ever responded to a blog of mine here, but I'll give it a shot. What do I do? How do I overcome this terrible feeling that the more you blaspheme the name of God in the name of God the more surely you will prevail? Where do these bastards, these hypocritical "Christian" Jesus haters get their certainty they will win, while the rest of us fuck about and let it happen?
Now if God says I am not allowed to hate these fundamentalists, however evil they are, how do I deal with it? I can't just flick a switch inside me and make myself love them.
Am I turning into one? Simply a mirror image?
I will not pray that anyone ever lose the grace of God forever. I suspect that we all, without exception, shall be eternally united with her somehow. In fact, it may well be that a belief in hell is the root of all the sickness that passes itself off as "Christianity." But I would like to see god thwart the plans of these blasphemers, bring them to absolute powerlessness and true repentance.